To Little and to Late [[Open!]]

[Darkheart]

A small lump of fur brown and white lay hidden in a bush. At first glance, it might seem like a small chipmunk. But if you looked long enough and close enough, you would see the brown ears flick up, searching for something that sounded out of place. But then, they would slowly flatten back down on the small animal's head.

Lovekit always hid from her life under this bush. Though it was near camp, it was still her little sanctuary. But what did this spunky little have to hide from? She looked like a perfectly normal, joyful kit enjoying life in camp. But inside, this firey personality was eating herself up.

You're stupid. her mind told her. No one likes you. Your mom ran away from you. You are to small. You will never be an apprentice. She bit her lip until a scarlet red drop blossomed and filled her mouth with the copper taste. Fat tears welled up in her large, blue eyes. How can you put up with yourself? How do you walk into camp without the cats clawing at your useless face? Her body trembled.

This had started just a week ago when a younger kit asked why her mother left. It then turned into a game for the rest of the nursery. They shouted out odd and harsh reasons, trying to make each other laugh. Lovekit didn't find it funny. It hurt. As if the comments were claws digging into her soft belly.

Just give up now. You won't get anywhere in life. No one your size is of an use besides hunting practice. Her mind hissed.


((Ok, story behind this. My friend's mom was taken to prison a couple years ago for drug abuse. It sent my friend into a depression were she mentally abused herself. Thankfully, she got help about a year ago and is doing pretty good now so I felt like i needed to make a cat in honor of her getting better but I had to many cats already so I decided to just us one of my already made cats.))

[*~Blazeheart~*]

((Aww, that's soo sweet Darky ^^. Tell your friend I said hi and to always be happy ))

Padpaw snuffled around the ground as if he were a dog picking up a scent. Unlike most cats who uses their scent glands in their mouths, he liked using his nose. It was almost dog-like, but he was a cat and cats hunt for mice. Which is exactly what he was looking for.
His belly rumbled with hunger at the thought of catching a nice, fat, juicy mouse. Suddenly, his ears perked up as he spotted a lump of fur nesteled in a bush. A tiny bundle of fur that could only be a small critter.
Tail flicking-well more like wagging- eagerly, Padpaw dropped into a crouch, not even bothering to scent the prey to identify what it was first. As long as it was meat, he would be content.

His musclese bunching up in his backlegs, he quickly pushed forward, paws extended and reaching towards the creature with unsheathed claws.
However, he was surprised by the sudden wave of Fireclan scent and realized he was attackeing a young Fireclan kit.
"Argh!" in an effort to brake, he tumbled forward and crashed into Lovekit.

[Swiftpelt]

The moons seemed to drag on, as a small tom layed within the nursery with his glazed light blue eyes wide open. If you took a glance, you would think that the small tom was staring out of the den with his eyes calm and cool. But if you walk to him, his sight would never reach yours. He would only move his head toward the sounds you would make and flick his ears at your presence.

Yes, his name was Jaykit and he was forever lost in darkness. But today, he felt that he needed to leave for a while for he grew tired of the same scents that filled his nose. Pushing himself to his paws, he shook his pelt of what little moss that was poking him and slowly made his way toward the opening of the Nursery, his eyes locked on pure darkness.

Carefully and calmly, the small gray tom reached the opening and found himself smelling many scents and hearing the voices of other cats. Lifting his head abit, he took in each scent that flowed to him, all strong and true. But what took him by interst was the most faintest scent, which he had from most of the clan as Padpaw and suddenlly, wanted to find the so called apprentice. Of course for Jaykit, that was more then just a simple walk.

Sighing slowly, he padded toward the faint scent with his eyes casted ahead of him and for the second time in his little kit life, was unaware of what he may run into. His gray pelt seemed to stand on ends as the scent became stronger, but soon flattened again as another scent was tangled along with it. I must have left camp. Jaykit calmly thought, even though fear clawed at his mind and stopped when the scent become overwhelming.

Thinking about the second scent for a moment, he could trace in his mind the steps of a kit and nodded. "Padpaw and Lovekit." Jaykit meowed, even though he was staring blankly ahead as if seeing something ahead of the two scents.

[Darkheart]

The small kit let out a high pitch squeal of terror when the other body crashed into her. See! They are finally getting rid of you! her mind snapped. Lovekit closed her eyes. You will finally get what you deserve! Lovekit knew, from watching other cats train, that she should quickly twist her body around and get to her feet as fast as possible, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She just lied their like a rag doll. Just lay their like the piece of trash you are!

Then, Lovekit heard Jaykit's voice. She opened her eyes and looked up at Padpaw and Jaykit. Even the blind can see your many flaws. She quickly looked away to the dirt. She was still trembling. "...I'm sorry..." She said in a very small, weak voice. Yeah, that's right, just apologize for being alive!

[*~Blazeheart~*]

"Ow ow ow!"Padpaw moaned, sitting up and rubbing his paw on his muzzle. His poor muzzle had came in contanct with the ground and now was very sore and red. Fortunately, the pain ebbed away after a few soothing caresses from his paw. Looking down he spotted Lovekit lying there and nudged her with his paw, "Oh um, you okay? Sorry about that..."

Luckily her eyes opened and he breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Whew! Glad your alive, thought I accidentally squashed you or something,"he meowed with a light laugh as if it was funny, which it was to him.
Then he scented another cat and turned to see little Jaykit standing beside him.
"Hey Jaykit! Brilliant! Are you both sneaking out of camp?"he asked, glancing between Lovekit and Jaykit with a wide grin, as if he was proud of them. Most cats would scold apprentices for being out of camp, but Padpaw was one of those who encouraged it.
"I'm so proud of you. Kits these days just don't sneak out of camp like they used to,"he meowed with a sigh, pretending to be sound like those old folks who reminensced about the past.

[Swiftpelt]

Jaykit tilted his head to Padpaw's voice, who at this point, had no clue he was blinded in the first place and simply huffed in reply. Is it me, or I'm I the only one who sees this tom as foolish. The small gray kit thought, his eyes never changed in emotion but his tail twitched with annoyance as the apprentice continued to talk about it.

"Sneaking out of camp....That would be true, only there's one little problem. I can't see, mouse brain." He mewed, the squeak in his voice had faded from him, leaving a soft but firm tone in place. Turning his head back to Lovekit's scent, he couldn't help but notice the sadness that her scent gave out and with a flick of his ear, lowered his head to make it look like he was looking at Lovekit. But really, he was only trying to pin point where she was.

"Are you ok? I noticed that you left the Nursery quite a few times and even though I can't see anything, I can keep track of who comes and goes within my mind." He mewed, asking Lovekit but also sounded like he was making a point that he was paying attention.

(( I have a friend who's like that, but I help her with it and she is slowly getting better as well. So, I know the feeling. Tell your friend that I said hello as well ))

[◦ʜʇʎɯ]

Featherdance was keeping an eye on Jaykit while she nibbled on her mouse. She wasn't really hungry, but Oakleg was all 'keep your strength up!' and such, so, she did.

She quickly lifted up her head as she heard a squeal, instinctively thinking it was Jaykit, but the voice was too feminine, too light, too... scared. She stood, and held the mouse in her jaws. Eyes scanned the camp before she saw Padpaw, Jaykit and another little kit. Lovekit, she thought, padding over.

"Padpaw! You should watch where you're going!" she scowled and batted him around the ear. "Are you alright Lovekit?" she asked in a motherly tone. She hated seeing kits hurt. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" she asked, shooting an angry look at Padpaw. He was clumsy and silly. "Are you two hungry, Lovekit, Jaykit?" she asked them. "I have milk if you want, or a mouse. I'm not too fussed if you want the mouse - I don't want it, I'm not hungry." the female purred lightly, looking down at Lovekit. She dropped her mouse and licked the kit's forehead to try and cheer her up.

[Darkheart]

((Thanks guys! I told her online buddies said hi and she said hello back ))

Lovekit's mouth raised up into a smile, putting on her normal act. "I'm fine thank you." She said. When Jaykit said he knew she left the nursery often, her eyes got wider. She thought she was being very good about making it not noticeable. Her mind told her they would never notice, even if she didn't come back. A little chill went down her spin. They don't care. Don't tell them!

One part of her knew that these cats were nice and had nothing against her, but her mind shut those thoughts out and poisoned it with pessimistic ideas. The only reason she offered you milk because you are so small. Weak! Like a newborn! Lovekit looked at the mouse with thankful blue eyes, her stomach rumbling silently. No! You don't work, you don't eat! You are to fat! save it for someone who deserves it. She quickly looked aways. "No thank you, I'm not hungry." She said. Then, Lovekit looked at Padpaw's muzzle. "And it is not Padpaw's fault... just mine. I was in the way. I should not have snuck out. I will help the elder for punishment." She said. Working will make me accepted. She told herself. But then her mind took over. If they ever get past your mouse-like size and big head!

[*~Blazeheart~*]

"Oh yeah huh...you're blind.."the black-furred apprentice repeated as the young kit reminded him. He forgot these little details.
"Oh well, even better. A blind kit like you being all trouble-maker and sneaking out like Lovekit here. I love you guys,"he chuckled, thumping Jaykit on the back hard with his front paw.

"So you guys want me to-"he was about to suggest he take them around the territory, even though kits were forbidden to go out of camp when he heard a rustling and Featherdance appeared. Padpaw quickly changed his words before he could get in trouble.
"Ahh...-to take you back to camp you naughty kits!"his tone changed to one of scolding, cuffing Jaykit around the ear. Hoping Featherdance would buy his act that he had just discovered these kits and would be taking them back.

But, for the unfortunate apprentice, he got in trouble anyways.
"Ow!"the tom yelped as paws cuffed his ears. Mutinously, he pouted a bit as Featherdance showed the utmost kindness towards the kits whereas he got the negative treatment.
Typical queens

When Lovekit had mewed she would help the elders as a punishment for herself, Padpaw impulsively meowed out loud.
"What?! Help the elder's? That's boring work!"
But he remembered just in time that Featherdance was still here.
"Er- I mean. Yes, cleaning the elders den is good work, you should totally do it. Yup, everyday,"Padpaw meowed, patting Lovekit's head approvingly with his tail.

((Hope everyone can kinda get the gist of his tone while he's talking XD I'm trying to make him a comedy relief))

[◦ʜʇʎɯ]

Featherdance frowned at Padpaw. "I'm not an idiot, Padpaw. I know what you were doing." she scowled at him, and looked down at Lovekit. "You don't need to. Padpaw's got it covered for the rest of his life, the way he's heading." she joked and laughed. The kit wasn't hungry, which made her more serious. "Really? You look awful skinny, Lovekit. You don't need to work for your food; the warrior code says kits and elders are fed first." she pushed the mouse towards the kit.

"Right, we should get back to camp - I won't tell Revolutionstar. I'll say I took you two out, alright? It would be mean for him to delay your apprentice ceremony for something every kit does - I remember doing it myself. It's fun, but it's dangerous. There're badgers and foxes and even cats who don't give a rat's tail about the warrior code and wouldn't care if they harmed a kit." she meowed, and looked around just to be sure there was no one around. "Come on then, dears. I can feel rain a-coming. Don't want to get soggy, now, do we?" she giggled a little and nudged Jaykit gently from behind, and did the same with Lovekit.

[nuuuuuuuu lovekit dun be a depressy ;-;]

[Swiftpelt]

Jaykit raised his head again as another scent mingled in the air, flicking his ears back alittle bit before focusing his mind back on Lovekit's scent. The kit was of course lying, since he could still smell a hint of fear within it but yet, Jaykit was not the type to push into anything.

He himself, still fights over the fact that he is was he is and without a doubt, feels that words would only hurt him even more. Questions still raged within his mind, afraid to admit that his mother was truly gone from him and that this was his price for her leaving him. No. She would never do that and he knew it. If only he knew why.

Jaykit was so much into his thoughts, he forgot about the scent that had came in and soon heard his name by a familiar voice. Featherdance. He remembered, though not really happy about it and simply shook his head no when the queen asked the both of them. Jaykit lashed his tail however, at both Lovekit and Padpaw's words but blinked. Elder's den....It smells like old fur and stinks of wet moss. The gray kit thought, shifting his head ever so slightly to listen to Featherdance's words and soon felt a nudge from something.

Biting back a retort, Jaykit turned his head to where Lovekit's scent was and slightly flicked his tail."Lovekit, come beside me." He asked, though it was more like a tell then and ask. He wanted to know if Lovekit was really alright. Plus, she was the only one that really didn't make fun of him.

[Darkheart]

The small kit flinched when Padpaw patted her head. When Lovekit realized it was just a pat, she relaxed her muscles a little. Lovekit did think Padpaw was funny, but the voice in her head told her that her laugh was obnoxious and to loud and that she better not open her mouth or no one would ever talk to her again. So she kept quiet.

Lovekit was thankful that Featherdancer wouldn't tell Revelutionstar. The truth was, Lovekit was afraid of her leader. Even before the her mind started to turn on her. To the brown and white kit, he towered over her. It was intimidating. "Thank you, Featherdancer." She said, dipping her head to the warrior. She is only doing it for Jaykit. Why would anyone want to help your big head! They would be lucky to have a fox take care of you! her mind hissed. She cringed.

She flicked her large blue eyes to Jaykit. She tilted her head slightly, wondering why anyone would want her to stand by them. She she didn't disobey, though her mind told her that if she got to close to some cat, they would realize her abnormally small size. But Lovekit knew that Jaykit wouldn't judge her by her size. So for the first time in a while, she brushed off what her mind said. She trotted up beside Jaykit. "Thank you." She said once again.

A small, chilly breeze came, blowing Lovekit's short kit fur. It smelt like leaf-fall. While most cats feared Leaf-fall because the prey starts to become scarce, Lovekit thought it sounded beautiful. Because she was only six moons, she only heard stories of Leaf-fall. All the warm colors and the cold air on your fur. It sounded like a fantasy. She breathed in the air.

[◦ʜʇʎɯ]

[bg=fffd3f][cs=3] The queen looked down at the kit. She was a nervous one. Perhaps she would ask, when Lovekit became an apprentice, she would become her mentor. The thing would need someone gentle to let her flower and come out of the horrors of her past - it was unfair such an innocent little thing had experienced things like that. No cat should ever go through that, especially in as short a span as Lovekit had. She ran her tail over the two kits heads. "Come on then, before one of the other queens misses us." she purred lightly, looking down at them as if both Lovekit and Jaykit were her own kits, her own kits she had carried and lost at birth. Pushing down those thoughts, she put on a brave face.