~Raven's thinking~

[~Ravenpaw~]

Ravenpaw sat, alone.... all alone. Again, she glanced at the empty space beside her and sighed, her brother wasn't there, he never was anymore, and he never would be again. He was dead...D.E.A.D. How many days does she think about it before remembering that he's gone. He was her other half, the light to her dark, the yin to her yang, the land to her sky. He was her. Smallpaw had been her twin brother, they looked alike in every way but one. Ravenpaw's eyes were an icy blue colour, where Smallpaw's were a fiery orange. Ravenpaw sighed, she wondered where her new mentor was, she had heard her new mentors name was Shadowsong but she didn't care, she didn't care about anything anymore, life was empty and pointless to her, she wasn't allowed to fight.

She was the new medicine cat apprentice which displeased her greatly, she loved to fight and sink her teeth in other's pelts and hunting she was wonderful at hunting dispite her size. Ravenpaw was smaller then all other apprentices, she was still the size of a kit and hasn't grown at all, her twin had been the same size, but that made her faster and better then most other apprentices so why be medicine cat? She had no choice, her shoulder hung oddly, it was clearly broken. And it would never heal rightly so she was stuck as Medicine cat apprentice, that or being and Elder which really bugged her, no way! Ravenpaw shifted a bit, her raven black fur shining in the sun, her icy blue eyes glanced outside the den, she didn't sleep in the apprentices den anymore, she hardly slept at all, but she prefer to stay in the Meddies den.

Ravenpaw missed her old mentor, Silentclaw, he understood her, he was different, stange like her. But he was gone, dead and like everything else left her alone. She was so very alone.

[Waterfrost]

(Interesting. Ravenpaw who doesn't want to be medicine cat apprentice + Shadowsong, who doesn't want to be medicine cat= what has the world come to? XD)

A small, dark creature lurked in the medicine cat's den, hidden away from everyone and everything. The young she-cat sat crouched down in the herb storage, looking more like a shadow than a cat. The scent around her haunted and taunted her. She shivered. Appleblossom..........was..........dead. Ever since that day, the medicine cat apprentice, now Moonclan's new medicine cat, had shied away from her clan more than she had ever before. The only time she left her den was to grab a bite to eat, which was very minimal. Her clanmates whispered among themselves that she was crazy; perhaps as crazy as Appleblossom had been. She allowed these comments, for she didn't do anything to stop them. Her energetic personality had washed away, flowing after her mentor.

Shadowsong stiffened as the scent of Ravenpaw blew over to her by the gentlest of breezes. It felt like a mother's warm, rapid lick, but it didn't thaw her cautiousness or weariness. The day after she had received her full medicine cat name, Shadowsong was forced to take on Ravenpaw because of her broken shoulder. The last thing she had wanted to do after her horrifying memory was to become a mentor herself. It was just too much! She never really even wanted to become a medicine cat. She yearned to stretch her legs and hunt and fight....but I know my responsibility. Why does this have to be so hard?

By barricading herself, she had not taught Ravenpaw a thing, nor had she spoken barely a word to her. It's not like I could teach her anything... The jet-black she-cat delicately stepped out and into the clearing of the medicine cat den. Her steps were so light that she could have walked right in front of a mouse and it would not have heard her. When she came into view, her appearance was shocking; she looked as if it was in the dead of leaf-bare. Her thin body appeared to be fragile, but no cat would dare to speak of it. Everyone just assumed she had gone insane and just left it at that. Shadowsong's dark, deep blue eyes gazed at the black apprentice before her. Her soft mew was barely above a whisper. "Hello."

[~Ravenpaw~]

((oh dear that is terrible rofl))

Ravenpaw shifted ever so slightly, her oddly placed shoulder was easily noticed, above all, she was tiny, smaller then most apprentices at first sight, in fact, Ravenpaw could have sworn she saw a kit that was bigger then she was. She coiled her black tail around her small form, even her was were tiny. Her fur sleek, well groomed and a deep raven black, after which she was named after, even her nose was black! If she closed her eyes she would blend right in with the shadows. Ravenpaw at this point in time believed she would fit in better at a kittypet place, but she would never ever think of actually going there, she'd rather die.

Ravenpaw at many points thought of leaving Moonclan to find a place she would fit in better and feel more welcome and comforted, but no place felt safe anymore, not without Smallpaw. She missed him so much she could die. She glanced down at the empty space beside her, was living worth anything anymore, she had already lost everything, her mother, her father, her brother, her mentor and even her ablilty to be an apprentice, the use of her shoulder and any and all happiness, Ravenpaw found joy in nothing. Ravenpaw sighed and glanced over with her icy blue eyes, her dark and cold gaze landed on the jet-black she-cat that was meant to be her new mentor, teach her how to heal, Yey...

Ravenpaw merely stared at Shadowsong she said nothing, she hardly ever did and when she did, her words were normally harsh and cold. Ravenpaw wondered what was so great about being a medicine cat if she was forced to do it, flowers.... Ravenpaw at one point liked flowers and knew some could be used for herbs, herbs, the thought made her feel different, perhaps the slightest twinge of excitment? No it couldn't be, Ravenpaw felt nothing anymore, she turned away merely waiting for Shadowsong to say something. First impressions didn't matter to Ravenpaw they were idiotic and most cat's view can change she was a perfect example of that, but she wanted to get to know her mentor first before saying anything. Ravenpaw noticed how skinny her mentor was, but she was just that skinny a dead-leaf, pertty much like looking in the mirror, only she was larger. Ravenpaw even for an apprentice was still merely the size of a kit, and was smaller then anyone. Ravenpaw was also very thin and very skinny, she didn't eat much and sleep... she didn't like to sleep anymore, she normally stayed up till she passed out and then dreamed of the starry cats that haunted her, another reason she was here. If it wasn't for those dreams she wouldn't be their, so she had a connection to Starclan, but she didn't like it one bit.

Ravenpaw sighed a bit, "Hi" She meowed harshly to her new mentor, her cold gaze remained transfixed on her, the cold tone in her voice matched then rest of her.

[Waterfrost]

(Appleblossom was black with purple eyes, Shadowsong is black with blue eyes, and now Ravenpaw is black with blue eyes. XD Sorry, I'm amused easily. ;D)

Shadowsong just stood there. The harsh, cold welcome from the other she-cat had the same effect on her as a yelp on a leaf. No reaction. No emotion. There was emotion constantly circling her inside, enough to drive her insane, but she hid it well.

She tilted her head to the side a little, something she had often done with a playful expression but now there was no emotion at all. To another it would seem like she was blind. Shadowsong watched the younger cat cautiously. It was still hard for her to transition the fact that she was no longer an apprentice. She was now a mentor. Why do I have to be the only one who gets an apprentice the moment after I am no longer one myself? She yearned to groan out loud.

With a slight flick of her tail, she tossed the cold mew away as if it was just a dead leaf of little significance as it is crumpled into the ground as paw steps pass over it. Shadowsong considered Ravenpaw. She knew that she did not want to be here, as neither did she, but something she could not explain told her that she would change. She had to. What else would she do?

"As you know, I am Shadowsong and will be your new mentor," she began quietly. Her emotion did not dare to betray her. If it did, she would be in hysterics. "I know you do not want to be here, but just know that I will not force you to be my apprentice. Truth be told, I'm not thrilled about it either. I haven't completed my training and I still feel like I am an apprentice--" she froze as memories surged through her, torturing her. She shoved them as far away from her as she could, her eyes closed. When she opened them again, her eyes were blank again, free of emotion. She noted that Ravenpaw did not eat much and was very thin like herself. The black she-cat took a step backward, far from the latter when she spoke again. Her voice was strong and controlled, though it was still soft like a shy apprentice. "Is there anything you would like to get off of your mind right now?" She asked this because she wished someone would ask her; she knew spilling out things she kept built up inside her would relieve her worries......problems........and griefs.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Ravenpaw looked away from her once Shadowsong started to speak. She wasn't the speaking type herself, any words said were mostly harsh words, anything else was quiet. She hadn't spoken for a while after her own father died, she had spoke with Smallpaw but no one else, she had spent alot of time in this den for her shoulder, but she had let it heal enough to use it again. After that she was just getting used to being an apprentice again when suddenly Smallpaw had died, the badger had ruined her shoulder completely, 'You will never be a warrior with that shoulder' those words made her fur bristle. Ravenpaw looked around the den, when Smallpaw had died she said not a word while she was in the den and now she was permentantly trapped to it. Her ears folded back distainfully.

Ravenpaw nodded a bit, "Ravenpaw" She said at last answering her first group of words the ones where Shadowsong said her name and that she was her mentor. The starry cats had touched her, she was so close to death only to end up trapped in this den, but this den was better then the apprentices den, she hated that place. Her bed, the smallest nest in the whole den had been big enough for her and her twin, Smallpaw. Even thinking of his name caused her heart to ache, her icy blue eyes never betrayed her, they always showed off a look of hate and rage, sorrow and hurt. She knew it showed but she didn't care to much to change herself, she had once been happy... now she was this.

It was true she didn't want to be here, but she had no choice she would rather here then the elders den. She wasn't to fond of that place either, everything was so....old in there. Ravenpaw shuddered at the thought of her spending her whole life in there. "Let's get some things straight" Ravenpaw started off, "I'm not gonna pity you and you better not pity me if you want to keep on living alright" She meowed, she hated pity more then anything, Pity wasn't going to bring everything back to her, it would only hurt her more, "I don't care about you, and I never will" She added which was true because she didn't like anyone, "And lastly you didn't force me they did" She meowed then looked away..... "I'm also not going to tell you my story till I trust you" She meowed darkly and realized she had talked more then she had wanted to but oh well these were things that were bound to be explained eventually. "What about you?" She meowed quietly.

[Waterfrost]

Shadowsong's eyes narrowed, her first real expression in a long time. Her tail swept behind her, brushing anger into the air. She still kept her distance, but anger and defiance blazed in her blue eyes. It shocked her how the younger she-cat was so much the same in appearance except for the long, silver stripe on Shadowsong's right side and her silver right paw....and they're eyes were different too, no matter what the color.

"I do not expect you to pity me or even understand me or who I am," her voice was calm, but biting anger was clearly evident in her meow. "And I will not feel sorry for you either. I know what it feels like to have an overflowing river of pity threatening to drown you." Her fur rose and she shook herself. She spoke of her own family who had been slaughtered by a pack of ferocious wolves when she was only a kit. It was why Shadowsong was who she was...or used to be. Of course, Ravenpaw would not know this, for she had probably been a newborn or possibly not even born when this grievous event had taken place.

I don't care about you, and I never will. Those words cut through Shadowsong worse than the wolves had sliced her leg when she was a kit. True, the loner apprentice had never shown any interest in anyone, nor had she really been close with anyone except....NO! She could not think of him anymore! It has been final. Ravenpaw's words made her think. Who does care about her? No one. And neither does she. The black medicine cat sat down and wrapped her tail around her paws securely and carefully watched them, trying to hold everything in. She was nothing. All she felt like was a shadow to everything and everyone. A tiny shiver crept up her spine.

The last comment forced Shadowsong to look up. Her head just turned to her left with her gaze seeing something only she could see. "There is nothing to tell. No one cares, nor do I." Her steady voice carried an odd hint of coldness in it that seemed to chill even Shadowsong.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Ravenpaw wasn't a caring cat, she lost all feelings of caring when her brother died. Ravenpaw nodded ever so slightly, she shuddered at the words River and Drown, she hated those words after the loss of her father. Ravenpaw noted the bitter anger is Shadowsong's voice, but she didn't care, she merely spoke the truth, she cared for no one, anyone she cared about died in front of her at her paws. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. she wasn't lying when she thought that at all. She listened to her story but found no form of pity, she couldn't, she didn't feel it. The only emotions she knew were of Hatred, Anger, Frustration, Sorrow and Hurt. She knew each of them well. Ravenpaw rolled her eyes, if anything she would at least learn that neither of them wanted to be a medicine cat, if that was all she would probably go visit Smallpaw, she missed him so much and then only way she could see him was when she went to where he died, she could see images of him, his death the tears she shed for him and his flower.

Ravenpaw listened to her bitter and angered voice, at least there was some emotion now, so she was capable of it, hurray.... She knew her words were harsh, but Shadowsong would have to get used to it at least until she trusted her enough. Her icy blue eyes looked at Shadowsong, she could tell by the look in her blue eyes that she had forced her to think. Ravenpaw had that kind of power, she could twist her words and force others to think about them, it was a gift, and it was a curse. Ravenpaw didn't know Love anymore, she didn't know Happiness, or the power of kind words, she only knew harsh comebacks, rude comments and bitter lies. And of course, broken promises.

"Good" She meowed quietly, the tone in her voice equally as cold as Shadowsong's when she finished off her words, she didn't really feel like listening to anything, she just wasn't in the mood right now. She most likely wouldn't be for a while. "If you aren't going to teach me anything I will be leaving for today" She meowed harshly, "I'm not in the mood for anything" She hissed lowly under her breath, almost muttering. She didn't care for Shadowsong, yey another mentor is dead, she thought bitterly, she lost her's as well, a few sunset's before her brother's death, she had loved Silentclaw, he was the best mentor an apprentice could ever had, he understood the two young twins and knew just what to say, he was like a father to them. After then death of her own father, Shockmask everything started to die around her, she became cold then, and it only built up after Silentclaws death, and then it was now there forever because of Smallpaw's death. No one could Change the coldness inside Ravenpaw, not now, now it was to late. She was broken forever, and she would never be fixed.

[Waterfrost]

(just so you know, Shadowsong didn't tell Ravenpaw about her family dying. She just thought it. )

The young medicine cat flicked her tail in response to Ravenpaw's harsh comment, and a wave of indignation crashed against her. She was now Moonclan's medicine cat; she deserved to be shown some respect! Hadn't everyone been respectful to Appleblossom? Sighing quietly, but heavily, Shadowsong relaxed rather quickly, almost instantly. She didn't care anyways. She'd prefer to be an apprentice still. She really should have still been one. Her fur lay flat and her face became expressionless once again. She was never one for becoming angry or worried, for she was always able to stay completely calm in difficult situations, only allowing her temper to rise when someone stepped on her last nerve or hit her in the right spot. That's why everyone got along with her...well almost everyone.

The younger she-cat's attitude was just different to her. That's all. She sighed. I guess I'll get used to it. A pain shot right through her. Hadn't her mentor been cold and harsh like this? At least she was kind when she wanted to be...

"Fine," Shadowsong mewed curtly before turning around to head back to her nest. She finally came out of her nest after about a quarter to a half of a moon, and this is what she gets? It didn't encourage her to come back out again, that's for sure. For all she cared, the cold apprentice could cope alone all she wanted. It's not like she wanted to do anything about her. She didn't mean to be mean or insensitive, she was a gentle, kindhearted cat, but she had experienced too much pain and suffering in her life. How many times had she chosen to care about someone who left her? She had lost count. I will not love anyone ever again. Curling into a small ball with her tail wrapped securely around her, she stared blindly at the floor.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Ravenpaw watched her leave, she was glad that Shadowsong had giving her a vote of freedom, it gave her a chance to visit him... "Smallpaw" She meowed softly, her voice echo'd through the den, her voice was gentle for once, not angry not cold, but full of sorrow and pain. She didn't know if Shadowsong had heard it, she hoped she didn't, that caused her to become angry again, she hated saying his name, it always made her remember him. Everyone in the clan had known Smallpaw, he was a wonderful cat, full of happiness, the happiest cat would ever meet. He was nice and very funny and laid back. He was her other half, she could almost picture his fiery red orange eyes, they always made her feel all happy and warm, but now they caused only sorrow. She wished she could see him again, smell him, feel him against her pelt... but he was no where.

Smallpaw was well known, he had been the only one to ever get her to smile when she was feeling down, a real goofball he was, but he had been her goofball. She didn't leave at first, she slowly got up, "I need you" She whispered quietly this time so that Shadowsong wouldn't hear, she limped out of the den because of her shoulder. It had been broken when her father was killed and it never quite healed right. She missed how Silentclaw would always make fun of her and she would tease him back about his one paw that didn't have any claws at all. She loved her mentor, in a way that seems rather silly. She didn't think of him as a mentor, even though Smallpaw did. Yes her and Smallpaw had been put with the same mentor, their father had been training them together and after he died, they threated to slit each other's throats if they dared to separte them. So they were giving the same Mentor, and Ravenpaw fell in love. He became like a replacement father for them and he was very kind and after he died Ravenpaw heart broke. And now Smallpaw was gone, she had truely lost everything she cared for.

She was afraid to love again because of it, anyone she loved died at her paws, and she couldn't stop it. So Ravenpaw made a promise she would never forget, she would never care, or love for anything, or anyone EVER again. She left the den after that and looked around with her icy blue eyes, her small black form slipped into the shadows as she headed out of camp, more like snuck out of camp, for she didn't have permission to leave.

[Eclïp§e]

{Hope you don't mind my intrusion}
A twist and a turn and Tigerpaw wretched his head around through the dead of night. How interesting that he was to spot her.. Her got up from his musty place in the shadows of Twilightstar's roost. Silently crossing camp to wards the entrance a spell was broken as he left it. The spell of thinking. Had Tigerpaw sincerely lost his mind now these days? Oh well. He caught up to Ravenpaw,pressing against her flank,"Hello. Mind if I join you for a walk and a talk?" He cunningly asked quietly. His tail flicked to her good shoulder,his Smallpaw smile tilting goofy.