~Hidden Sorrow, Shown Hate~ (Fin/Waterfrost)

[~Ravenpaw~]

Emberfall ~Look through my eyes~//Then you'll understand//
Emberfall one of the nicest cats you will ever meet, her smile soft and sweet. The look in her deep forest green eyes, gentle and warm. Her ginger orange fur shimmering like fire in the sun of day. She smiled sweetly at Skyleaper as he headed out, "Going to try again?" She meowed, Skyleaper nodded, "You bet!" He said, "Good luck" She meowed softly dipping her head, Skyleaper returned the nod and smiled, "Today I shall try again, one day I get it" he meowed racing off swiftly, Emberfall chuckled, "Such enegry" She said, he was a young cat and had just been made a warrior, but his head was in the clouds. Emberfall smiled and greeted Quietpaw shortly after the young apprentice was shy and mute but Emberfall was always nice about it and didn't pity the young cat.

Streakpaw padded into camp, "Back from training?" She asked, Streakpaw nodded a bit smiling, "I'm gonna win" he said, Emberfall nodded, she could tell the young cat had a crush, but she didn't know which she-cat apprentice it was, surely not Quietpaw since she liked Soulpaw. Emberfall smiled softly, her mind wandered off as Streakpaw padded away, she thought of her Solarblaze, the young cat was strong and looked just like her, eyes and all, well expect for his scar and ear, she felt horrible about that, not just that scar was there but the fact she had given him up. Biggest mistake of her life, but she couldn't handle him anymore, Jayflame went behind her back, she didn't want anything to do with him she thought bitterly. She couldn't stand Jayflame anymore, or his other kit Riverbreeze, she had completely hated Robinfur though, while everyone mourned she laughed, not out loud, but inside, she laughed and laughed. Emberfall also thanks Starclan over and over again, that is what Jayflame gets for lying to her.

Emberfall was still smiling though her hatred was directed towards the traitorous Fox-dung tom she had once called Mate. She sighed and glanced around wanting to take her mind off of him and his evil ways.

[Waterfrost]

(whoa, that's gonna get confusing. I have a kit named Soulkit, and he's gonna become an apprentice in a thread pretty soon. He's also in Dawnclan. XD)

An energetic gray and ginger mottled tom bounded into the Dawnclan camp after a successful hunt. His senses were still alert, as were his muscles. He carefully laid two decent sized rabbits on the fresh-kill pile, one slightly more plump. He loved hunting; he wasn't sure why. Maybe the feeling the wind gave him as he raced against it, making him feel free and whole. One thing he knew for sure was that it helped erase all feelings of pain and sorrow he may have felt previously.

Sighing, not from sadness or frustration, but from mere happiness, he swished his tail contently and headed for the elders den to see if they were in need of new bedding. Unlike the apprentices, he loved helping the elders out because it gave him something to do with all the energy he generated, and he would spend endless moons listening to the intense, funny stories they loved to tell. He especially loved the way he could get lost pretending he lived back where they were, so he would forget about his own life and worries.

The carefree, bubbly tom was inches away from the den when he caught the sight of a beautiful ginger she-cat. Jayflame stopped dead. It was Emberfall. As if a cat had really came up from behind him and killed him, his jubilant self was gone, only to be replaced with this stranger he loathed and despised so much.

Ah, Emberfall, his first love. Solarblaze was their kit, and they were overcome with joy when he was born......but that all soon ended. It all ended completely because of one stupid mistake. Robinfur had come along, and Jayflame fell for her. Oh, why? Why Starclan? Why had you allowed me to fall for this other she-cat? Why was I blinded? At first he had pushed away the feelings for Robinfur, but as they grew closer, and no one stopped him, he took it as a sign that he was meant to be with her instead of Emberfall, so he mated with her and Riverfreeze was born. He and Emberfall had rushed into things, believing they had fallen in love, when it was possible they were wrong, so Starclan was just sending him a sign that they had been foolish and childish, right?

It was stupid. He didn't regret having Riverfreeze, never would he, but she and her brother caused utterly, non-endlessly painful memories and feelings. He felt like he should be dead now. That way no one could ever be hurt by him. Now, Emberfall hated him. Why wouldn't she? He did deserve it. Jayflame longed to explain to her how he felt and how things went down many moons ago, but he couldn't. Especially when he wasn't sure of his feelings.

Did he still love Emberfall, or was he really meant for Robinfur, and he was just confused because she was gone? Or, did he just think he loved Emberfall because he was supposed to and/or she was all he had left? Oh, the anguish he felt at that very moment. He always felt it, but hunting made it disappear until he encountered her or one of his kits. He felt as if he were carrying every single burden every cat had carried from before the beginning of the clans to present day. My heart is broken in pieces, and I can't put it back together because a piece is missing. The saddest part? I'm the one who broke it.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Emberfall ~Look through my eyes~//Then you'll understand//

Emberfall glared instantly, the second she was him her heart became inraged once more, she wouldn't just be a victom, if he got any closer she WILL claw his eyes out. Her deep forest green eyes glared at him as if stabbing daggers at him, at Jayflame. Emberfall turned away swiftly she was still mad at him, she would be forever, her cycle of hate would never end not even if he begged, she would Gladly accept Solarblaze into her life if she had the chance but his fox-dung father NEVER! Not even if he came up to her dying of something horribly bloodly wound, she wouldn't help him, she would kill him herself if she had to, he deserved what ever Starclan threw at him. Her whole life she suffered from her parents hatred that she wasn't ever going to be good enough for them, that no matter how hard she trained she just wasn't enough! AND NOW THIS FOX-DUNG TOM HAS THE RIGHT TO JUST CAST HER ASIDE, NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HER, JUST LIKE HER PARENTS SHE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM EITHER! That really bugged her he didn't love her, she had high doubts he ever did.

She didn't love him anymore, if he was going to treat her like her parents did she didn't want any part of him, if she wasn't good enough for anytom why didn't he just say it! Why didn't he even mention something to her, it would have been different, she wouldn't have been so made if he let her down softly, but he didn't even bother to tell her anything. NOTHING! Not even a little offside message from a friend or something, he went behind her back and betrayed and lied to her. She felt like crying her deep forest green eyes held back her tears as she sighed curling her ginger tail around her slender and beautiful form, the ginger she-cat now had her back facing him, should he come closer her claws dug in the ground ready to strike.

[Fin]

The heather besides the entrance to the DawnClan camp rustled as a slender grey she-cat emerged, a small vole held in her mouth. with light footsteps she padded out of the entrance and into the camp, the welcome scents of home wafting through her senses. Following behind her, a a much large ginger-tom shouldered his way through the heather, a rabbit clamped firmly in his jaws. The two cats, almost as if in sync with each other, fell into step as they headed toward the elder's den. Their catch, of course, heading straight for the respected members of their clan. They had decided to give it to them when out hunting in the moors.

With the she-cat entering first, the siblings took their fresh-kill to the elders and exchanged few words with them. They spoke of the weather and the coming of leaf-fall, one mentioned that he suspected this year's leaf-fall would be one to remember. The others in the den purred a little, one cuffing him around the ear with his tail with effort. Bidding farewell, the two warriors retraced their steps and exited the elder's den, the tom scenting the air before meowing to his sister.

"Rain is on the way." His voice was deep, his green eyes casting around the camp. They rested on two cats that seemed to have just argued. It was Emberfall and Jayflame, the two cats that seemed to act the weirdest around the two siblings. Neither Riverfreeze or Solarblaze could work out their antics.

"Come on brother, lets go get some fresh-kill - I haven't eaten all day!" Riverfreeze purred, nudging the bigger tom's shoulder with his head before padding off towards the small pile. She gingerly picked up a large enough rabbit for the two of them, when she lifted her head she caught eye with Emberfall. She had turned around since she had last looked. The ginger she-cat seemed to resent the lithe grey cat, for reasons truly unknown. The queens had always said that the she-cat was jealous that Riverfreeze had a brother to protect her when she didn't but that wasn't enough of a excuse to fully hate her. Her icy-blue met forest-green and they locked as if in combat. After a short few heartbeats, her brother had joined her, noticing the hostility and shouldered his way in the middle of the glare.

Throwing one warning glance at the older she-cat, almost as if he had just growled 'back off', he followed his sister to where she had settled a few tail-lengths away. Slumping down besides her in a ungraceful way, Solarblaze didn't feel the need to be careful. He was tired, his paws aching from working from early morning until now. He was always good at that, waking up very early to help the camp. The two shared the rabbit squarely, with Riverfreeze insisting that her brother took the bigger share, complaining he worked harder for it, but he shook it aside. They ended up eating in mostly silence, with occasional flicks of the ear. When they both finished eating, they began to share tongues, enjoying each others company.

[Waterfrost]

(sorry if I might accidentally call Jayflame, Jaythen. I've written about a character named Jaythen, and his name is getting me confused. I've caught myself, but just in case, that's why :P)

Jayflame flinched at the horrific glare he received from Emberfall. There was so much hatred there.....it was becoming unbearable. The melancholy tom fixed his eyes on the back of the pretty ginger she-cat. Oh, Starclan, why must I go through this? He wasn't sure if he loved Emberfall, but what he did know was that the same aching pain tortured him endlessly whenever he saw her or his kits. Robinfur, please help me know what to do!

He had loved Robinfur with all his heart. He knew that.....but why? Why had he gone behind this ginger she-cat's back and betray her? She was always loving and faithful to him, and all he did was cause her pain. That's why she hated him and gave away Solarblaze. He slowly lowered his head till it almost touched the ground where his tail lay drooped. He didn't know the answers. He didn't know what cut him more. Emberfall's hatred and the indifference from his kits......or not knowing how to explain himself.

All he knew was that he was stupid and shouldn't have done it, but he did, and there was nothing he could do about it. Even Jayflame attempted to talk to Emberfall, it wouldn't solve anything. Still, he yearned to speak with her. What would he say? What would she say? She would surely claw his face.

Memories of the past flew into Jayflame's mind. The ginger and gray tom flinched again. They were memories of him and Emberfall sharing tongues like his kits were doing just now. His heart hit him painfully at the thought. It was worse than an enemy warrior slicing his vulnerable belly open, letting the blood spill over, slowly lapping away at his strength and, eventually, his life. There were more. Them play-fighting, goofing around together, hunting, battling alongside each other and protecting each other, Solarblaze being born.....the warrior's eyes snapped shut, trying to make himself wake from the nightmare.

When will it end? When will my heart heal?

Any cat that looked at Jayflame would have thought he was in need of a medicine cat, but no medicine in the whole world would help him. Nothing would. The eternal pain was too great. He began to believe that nothing, not even time, could heal the wounds he had inflicted upon his heart.

Not having enough strength to walk over to her, she probably wouldn't even allow him to be that close, the small tom slightly raised his head and slowly opened his eyes. His voice shook slightly and cracked at first, but Jayflame kept going, raising his voice so Emberfall could hear him, not bothering to make sure no one else could. "Are......are you happy now? You obviously want me to feel the pain you have felt, and I have. You cannot imagine what I have felt ever since that day......it has to be much worse than yours. Mine has lasted all this time while yours has turned to hate. Well, I don't hate you, so just so you know, I would rather be killed by an enemy warrior slow and painfully than to die eternally like this."

He lowered his eyes again, staring at the ground. He could take Emberfall. If he could take the torture, he could handle her claws. He stood there, broken to pieces. There could have been a fire, and he wouldn't have noticed or cared enough to save himself. All he felt and saw was pain and torment. His anguish was too great to push aside, no matter how badly he wanted to.

He would have loved to have been strong enough to carry himself past Emberfall and pick out something from the fresh-kill pile and forget everything that had happened, but he was incapable of even moving a tail length. Jayflame knew the she-cat could care less about how he felt or what he was going through, but this was the first step. After all, they hadn't spoken except in angry tongues with each other since that day.

A sharp pain hit the trampled tom, forcing him to feel as a warrior feels after a long, treacherous battle where that warrior almost died from a deep, bloody wound on his side. Oh, how he desperately wished he was a naive apprentice again like what his clanmates always describe him as.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Emberfall ~Look through my eyes~//Then you'll understand//

Emberfall sighed as she watched Solarblaze, he was just like her in so many ways and he didn't know it, he was just.. so much like she was. Her eyes caught his after she gave his fox-dung 'sister' a death glare, she also hated Riverfreeze will all her heart, she was one of the reasons for her utter misery. The look in his eyes gave her warning, she caught it and held on, she didn't care it was mean, she glanced down afterwards she couldn't stare at the eyes that mirror her own anymore. The green eyes of hers ran in her family, even Solarblaze had them, the mysterious emerald forest green that only her family had, Solarblaze... Would he ever know? Would he ever even wonder? Think? Question? Why they looked so much alike, the colour of their fur? the eyes? Would he ever know how proud she was of him, would he ever know she had watched him grow up, would he ever know that at both of his ceremony's she cheered his name the loudest? Would he ever know that she was his Mother?

No... Jayflame would never let that happen, the rotten, backstabbing, double-crossing, two-faced little son of a little piece of Fox-dung tom! No of course not! Emberfall's eyes flared at that thought, he had ruined her life once again, she would never be loved never. She had to admit though she was surprised that he came up and talked to her, she wanted to tear out his eyes, she shot around and made a move like she was going to, but stopped and clawed the ground instead, "Happy?" She hissed lowly, "DO I LOOK HAPPY?!" She snarled tossing him another death glare. "My life is utterly ruined thanks to you!" She snarled at him again, "All my life i've been tortured, i've suffered, and i've nearly died over and over again! And then for the first time in my life I felt happy because I thought someone could love me and that it wasn't possible for everyone to hate me, My father? My Mother, they both hated me and showed it rather well, but you changed that, I thought maybe for once in my life I could be loved, yes you've suffered but so have I, and I could care less if you died here and now maybe then you can join your fox-dung lover and be happy, because clearly you've ruined my life enough for me to know I can't be loved, never have, never will be" She hissed lowly at him before getting up, her shown hatred had been covering up her hidden sorrow but now was gone, tears fell from her eyes as she turned away she didn't scratch him though she really wanted to, she headed to the nursery, she slept in there because she refused to sleep in the warriors den with Jayflame.

[Fin]

They had only just returned to the camp and yet the peace had already been disrupted. It was as if disaster seemed to follow the pair of cats. While Riverfreeze politely kept on grooming Solarblaze's neck fur, the large tom was becoming angrier by the second, his tail lashing. He glared at Emberfall again, this time with more intent. That she-cat seemed to have it in for his sister, which made him bare his teeth just thinking about it. How dare she even look at his wonderful sister with such cold eyes? Though she was a clan-mate, he felt like he wanted to go over to her and ward her away with a claw to the ear. It was a bad thing to even think of, but it was how he felt. Turning his head away, he licked the fur on his sisters head, almost as if he was letting her know he was protecting her from the cold stares.

Though the grey she-cat tried to ignore the two's argument, it was clear it was vicious. She couldn't hear exactly what was being said, but from the way they both spat at each other and Emberfall flexed her claws, it could easily turn into a fight. Would they risk it in the middle of the camp? Riverfreeze couldn't tell how desperate they would be to rip at each others throats, but the intent in both their eyes betrayed it.

Meowing close to her brothers ear so that the two arguing cats couldn't hear her, she said: "I wish they'd take it elsewhere." There was a sadness in her voice, partly because she could tell the two loathed each other and she wanted them to be friends, and partly because... well, she didn't know. Something inside of her was making her sad, like a distant memory, but she couldn't understand it. She had no connection to these two cats, and knew little about their pasts.

"Hmph, they will." Solarblaze meowed suddenly, causing his sister to move her head away before he stood up. Lettign his tail run across her muzzle to tell her to stay where she was, he headed toward the two cats and meowed in a low voice: "If you wouldn't mind, cats around here are trying to sleep. I don't know what your problem is with each other, but sort it out some other time."

With a final glance at the two cats individually, he stalked back to where his sister was sitting. She greeted him with a unhappy face, casting her eyes to where poor Jayflame was stood. He was such a nice cat, always happy to do whatever and was great fun, but to see him brought down like this was heartbreaking. She tried to catch his eyes with her own icy-blue, as if to apologise for her brothers out-right behaviour. Sighing, she rested her head on her paws, her left side close to her brother.

The ginger tom kept his head raised and ears alert, as if challenging the two to keep bickering, but was pleased when he saw Emberfall walk off. He was surprised when Riverfreeze stood up beside him, licking her chest fur once or twice before approaching Jayflame. It was clear she was going to ask what was up.

Riverfreeze padded carefully toward the tom, her eyes gleaming with sympathy for him. Her meow a quiet, gentle one, she said: "What's wrong, Jayflame? What happened back there?" She sat down a tail length or two away from him with her long, feathery tail curled around her forelegs.

[Waterfrost]

(YAY! I actually had time to reply. *sigh* now I have to study for three tests...)

Jayflame, a small gray and ginger ball, kept his face composed; he feared that if he moved or let out a sound, he would surely fall completely apart. No, he would completely fall apart if Emberfall or either of his kits got hurt because of him. He was already hurting them now......

The crumpled tom flinched at every word Emberfall hurled at him and cowered when she past him. He didn't even care that he was presenting himself lowly, a mockery of a warrior! Every word was true. That's all he thought and cared about. Every bit of it, and he had control of it. He could have prevented everything.....and yet he didn't. He didn't even hear what Solarblaze growled at them. All he heard was Emberfall and all of his thoughts and arguments eating his insides.

Emberfall.....he remembered when they were first in love. He had never ever thought he would fall in love with another cat, but she changed his whole perspective on love. It started out with just getting to know each others' past and slowly growing closer. It was real love that they felt and showed, and he remembered feeling endless happiness. Everything seemed right, especially when he spent time with her. He had known how she was feeling and exactly how to cheer her up. They understood each other like no other mates, and other cats looked up to that with respect and also curiosity. Their questions and answers were soon blown away when the inevitable happened.

He and Robinfur had known they shouldn't have fallen for each other, so they pushed the feelings away...but they somehow ended up sneaking out to see each other. No! Jayflame sank his claws into the soft earth. One would think he was angry when he was really trying to release the pain and torture he kept hidden deep within him. One day he would be gone forever emotionally, and no one would notice.

"Whaaat?" The crouched-down tom snapped his head up instinctively but lowered down just as quickly when he saw who it was. Riverfreeze. It hurt even to think her name. Why did she have to remind him so much of Robinfur? Her looks, the way she delicately wrapped her tail around her paws, how she even cared enough to go up to a clanmate, even one as pathetic and weak as him, to ask them what was up. It was bad enough she and her brother reminded him of.....he wasn't even gonna think it.

Jayflame turned away, not in a mean way, but in a protective manner. He needed to protect himself from the things on the outside that were causing the things on the inside to bubble up and explode. No, that was wrong. She wasn't the cause of his torment. It was all him....

"Er.....nothing's wrong. You don't have to worry about it," the gray and ginger furred warrior meowed, desperately striving to keep his shaking voice steady, to no apparent prevail. "It's.......it's just how things are. Leave it at that." Not feeling able to get up, he mewed, "Leave me be. Just leave me here to die. No one will care." He knew his clanmates cared about him and he for them, but at that moment he couldn't think clearly. All he could think about was how his kits did not know him as he longed for them to know him as, and Emberfall wouldn't even blink if he died right in front of him. The four cats he had held closest to him had abandoned him, though only one chose it.

His soft yellow eyes starred at his paws, not really seeing them at all, for his eyes were clouded with sorrow. What's going to happen to me? Should I just leave? Would that be best?

[~Ravenpaw~]

~Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known~

Emberfall~White Horse~//Then you'll understand//
Emberfall padded into the nursery, she slept in there because she refused to sleep in the warriors den, while Robinfur was alive, she often slept outside by herself, even in the freezing cold, she didn't care she wanted nothing to do with either of them, sometimes on really cold night's she slept in the Medicine cat's den. She fell upon on her nest and broke down crying, she felt foolish, stupid. She believed in him, she trusted him, but he lied, she honestly believed he was telling the truth, but how could he? Fall, Fall...

~I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around~

He promised to always love her, "I love you" Jayflame had once told her, they were perfect for each other, the perfect mates in all of Dawnclan. She knew him like the back of her paw and he knew her the same way, they could cheer each other up so easily, they had been so happy... They loved, were in love.. Emberfall loved him, for all the right reasons, they were in love, but then came Robinfur and the only reason they loved each other was because they couldn't.. that wasn't good, that was WRONG. Hurtful. Very Painful. Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall....

~Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know~

Emberfall didn't think Jayflame truely loved her, if he did would he do what he did? She was upset, Why Lie?! Her dreams crushed, so many beautiful dreams, a happy life, a wonderful family, A mother, Her mate, Her son, so lovely and happy, but it was gone, shattered, broken, just like her heart. It didn't matter anymore, they were just dreams sitting in the darkness, dreams aren't real. No one loved her, no one cares, who would miss her? Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all.....

~I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around~

Emberfall stood up and padded out of the den, she looked over with her beautiful green eyes at Jayflame, her eyes were full of sorrow and pain with slight hatred. He wouldn't be sorry, he wouldn't want her, he didn't even tell his own son who his real mother was. Emberfall let some tears escape again, she padded out of camp, he wouldn't care, no forgiveness. Where she was going, she didn't know, didn't even care herself, she didn't want to suffer anymore. Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall.......

~And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry~

The beautiful ginger she-cat looked up, her green eyes filled with sorrow, she had wandered all the way to rouge territory and glanced at the cliff's edge. She glanced over the edge, it was a long way down, she could see herself falling, that thought made her cringe and back away slightly. Could she really do this? Could she finally be free? Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall to be Free, Escape who you fear to be.... Emberfall could jump, she could escape, she really could, inching foreward slightly. Thoughts of Solarblaze forced her to recoil back again. Could she really jump leaving Solarblaze behind without him knowing she was his mother. Mother. Emberfall thought of her mother, her parents. The two beautiful ginger cat's, her mother's lighter green eyes and then her fathers dark green eyes, which together created her eyes. Thoughts, Distant memories, of what they did to her, what they said, the thoughts drove her foreward again. Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall to be Free, Escape who you fear to be, Fall to die, Don't listen to the lie......

~Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now~

Emberfall took a step foreward, getting closer to the edge, she stopped, Solarblaze should know, he should, she could run back and shout how she was his real mother. Don't listen to the lie! Emberfall stopped again, she was going to go back, she had alreayd turned around and everything, but Jayflame, he would deny it, make her look like a fool... Jayflame, his lies, it drove her mad! She turned back, no more living, he wouldn't care, he wouldn't. No one could catch her now. No one would save her. No one to stop her. No one to love her, she would find happiness in Starclan. She closed her eyes again taking in a breath, she was torn, could she? Or couldn't she? Would there be a reason? Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall to be Free, Escape who you fear to be, Fall to die, Don't listen to the lie, Fall lose it all, become your name EmberFALL.

~Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now~

[Fin]

When the small tom tried to get her to go away, she flicked her tail along the dusty floor. It was clear the tom needed someone to talk to, and she would provide that shoulder - she felt it was her job as a denmate, as she would for any other member of their clan. Glancing slowly over at her brother who simply turned his head and faced the other way, his ears flicked forward so as not to over hear, she smiled at him. Though he might not show it on the outside, he felt happy that his sister was such a kind spirit.

Turning back to Jayflame, she meowed quietly: "Now come by, Jayflame, what's wrong?" She smiled patiently at him, her attention focused on him when he began to speak again.

"Leave me be. Just leave me here to die. No one will care."

Instantly grief clouded Riverfreeze's icy-blue eyes as she heard the strain in Jayflame's voice. She had never spoken to someone with such sadness clouding their mind. Stunned for a moment, she opened her mouth to speak but no words came. It was so unexpected.

"How dare you..." She stuttered, still unbelieving. It wasn't anger in her voice, but sorrow for this tom. It hurt her to see him so broken. Clearing her gentle voice, she meowed again, this time with more urgency than before: "Every cat in this clan cares about you, no matter what quarrel you have with eachother. when we are born, we are taught to love one another. The bond of two life-long denmates is unmatched by many, and you need to remember that, Jayflame." She stood up, and in a matter of strides she was beside him, putting her head on his shoulder before turning around to return to her brother. Looking over her shoulder with a smile, she looked back at her brother.

Solarblaze opened his mouth to speak, probably a sarcastic comment, but he was interrupted. Out of the corner of his vision he saw a figure leave the nursery. It was Emberfall. Feeling that he had to do his part for making Jayflame feel better, and also a strange, magnetic force deep in his heart making him want to stand up, he stood, much to his sister's confusion. The large tom padded after the she-cat, his forest-green eyes focused on her like prey.

Riverfreeze meowed after him, but he didn't hear what she said. Without noticing, he began to run after the she-cat, a sudden need to speak to her taking his paws. Wind whistled past his head, under his paws and through his fur. He heard a voice call out behind him, his sister's, asking where they were going. She had followed.

Without turning to speak, he meowed loudly: "I don't know." He paused as he leapt over a thin stream, "I think she's crossed the border!" His pace quickened until he was full sprint running after her, pursuing the ginger she-cat. Where was she going? He knew this direction was rogue territory, though he had never ventured there. His eyes flashed and he noticed that she had stopped by a cliff. Solarblaze gasped, shock setting into his mind.

"Emberfall! What are you doing!" He meowed loudly, afterwards feeling his sister run beside him, matching his pace. The two cats skidded to a halt not too far away from the she-cat, afraid of what she might do next.

(they're not going to find out yet, are they?)

[Waterfrost]

(no, I don't think so. They can just find it strange about what's happening.....unless you two want them to find out now. They don't know Jayflame is their father, so his relationship with Emberfall can just be viewed as something they never knew or something....)

"It's different with Emberfall and me," He mumbled. "Take every intense, anger-filled situation you can think of and put them together into just one situation. That doesn't even amount to how it is between us." His tail tightened around his paws. "She would be glad to have me dead." His voice cracked at the end, but he couldn't care less. It was painful to talk, nonetheless with his daughter.

The warmth and tenderness from the gentle touch of Riverfreeze's head on his shoulder was almost too much for Jayflame to bear. He gritted his teeth, afraid he would bleed to death right then and there from biting the inside of his jaw. He recoiled instantly as she walked away. Why? Why does her touch affect me so? When will this all be over?

Oh, how Jayflame longed for Riverfreeze to know who he truly was....but that would only hurt her. She would resent him for not only lying to her but for what he had done. He had fallen for Robinfur as hard as any warrior could. He had felt as if he would die without her....yet he had told himself he felt the same for Emberfall. How could he feel the same for both? No cat can be in love with two she-cats at the same time...with the same passion.....could he?

It didn't matter. He was stupid. All my life I've been tortured, I’ve suffered, and I’ve nearly died over and over again! And then for the first time in my life I felt happy because I thought someone could love me and that it wasn't possible for everyone to hate me. Her words dug painfully deep into his already grievous, blood pouring wounds. Had he really not thought about that? Had he been so foolish as to overlook that small, yet significantly crucial fact? He had been blind and oblivious to how Emberfall had loved him so dearly and how she had been hurt by everyone she ever loved.....he was added to that list. A shiver as cold and frozen as the frost biting wind during leaf-bare slid down his spine, causing Jayflame to tremble.

No cat would ever love him if they knew the truth.....no wonder Emberfall hated him so. How could he ever take it back? His heart ached for the beautiful she-cat so much.....but he knew his heart would never heal. It would never beat normally again. It would never skip a beat whenever near Emberfall.....Nothing could ever be back to the way it was before.

Jayflame wished he could die then and there. The anguish beat at his insides persistently day and night. Nothing ceased them. The anguish of losing Emberfall and his kits….the anguish of never being close to any of them or Robinfur……the anguish of his monster-sized mistake. He would love to die, but what would hurt him worse? The pain and guilt he felt in every fiber of his being with Emberfall always in his mind whenever he wasn’t hunting? Or the pain and guilt he would feel watching Emberfall suffer, and knowing it was his fault, with Robinfur always beside him and nothing to give him comfort or distraction? There had to be a way.

He had loved Emberfall ever since he had first laid eyes on her gorgeous self. He still did….but did he love her any less because of Robinfur. His heart twisted in fear of the unknown answer. No! This had to stop! It had to! Why did he have to suffer so? Why did Emberfall have to suffer? She didn’t deserve it. Not when she had no one else to trust….Solarblaze, Jayflame, and Emberfall could have been a happy family. They could be all be sharing tongues or on a hunt together, perfectly at ease….it it wasn’t for that one, single, fatal mistake.

The small warrior's head snapped up the instant he felt his kits run out of camp and into the territory after Emberfall. He didn't have time to think. All he knew, as he previously numb and weak legs snapped to action, was that he had to find her. He had to know what she was doing. There was no way to explain how he felt at that moment. It was all so sudden from his previous thoughts and battles.

Jayflame's legs pushed him onward as fast as they could. Why had she left Dawnclan territory and into rogue territory? His heart beating terribly hard in his chest froze to a stop as he witnessed the scene before him. Emberfall....no....."NOOOOO!" A deep, loud and menacingly growl erupted from the ginger and gray tom's throat as he leapt passed the bewildered Solarblaze and Riverfreeze and over to Emberfall with his hind legs. His teeth dug into the beautiful ginger coat. Jayflame dragged her back, as far away from the edge of the cliff as he could.

Adrenaline was still pumping inside the sorrowful-spirited tom as he kept his back toward the cliff, out of the she-cat's view, and whipped his head around to glare at Emberfall. "What were you thinking!?" He demanded, a snarl growing in his once dry throat. He didn't know where everything he had done and felt had come from, but he knew he could never allow any more harm come to this she-cat. Not while he was alive.

[~Ravenpaw~]

Emberfall~White Horse~//I just want the chance to finally be able to say "Once upon a time... I was loved...."//

Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall to be Free, Escape who you fear to be, Fall to die, Don't listen to the lie, Fall lose it all, become your name EmberFALL. The words played over and over again in her head. She didn't know what she was doing now. She had let go of everything, there was no one to catch her now. There never had been. Her whole life she had been alone, always alone, no one to trust, no one to love. How could she not have seen that, how could she have been so trusting, and so niave? She was stupid, she should have known better, she should have. But she didn't. She kept believing, and that was her downfall. It was to late now to late.

The words faded, but it was to late, far to late, she stepped closer to the edge. "Emberfall! What are you doing!" A voice called to her. She gasped, her beautiful green eyes widened, she looked back and seen her son. Her strong, brave, proud Solarblaze, the look on his face utter shock. "Solarblaze" She meowed quietly tears in her eyes, no turning back, no turning back. Her son. Her son had come to stop her. Did he care? No he couldn't, he didn't know her at all. He was just there, just there. She didn't even notice Riverfreeze, if she had she would have screamed and jumped so lucky for her. But still, no matter she was still to close, she looked at him intently, her son, if only to say a word to him, if only, she couldn't there was no time, he would live his life and she would die. Maybe one day Jayflame would tell him. Maybe. Fall, Fall, Let go, Fall to lose it all, Fall to be Free, Escape who you fear to be, Fall to die, Don't listen to the lie, Fall lose it all, become your name EmberFALL.

A pause, a moment frozen in time where Emberfall looked at him, she sighed and turned her head back, her paw went over and she started to fall time slowly coming back. A deafening silence, nothing to be said, no screams, just falling. The words drove her over, she had suffered enough, she couldn't stand it anymore everything she had gone through, was she mad? Or just insane? It didn't matter anymore..nothing ever did. She had no past anymore, and she didn't know if she had a future, everything she tried to forget, it haunted her, even now as she wanted to die, she was tormented by the thoughts. Suddenly "NOOOOO!" A deep, loud and menacingly growl roared over the cliff, teeth dug into her enchanting ginger pelt and dragged her back up so fast she could only gasp.

She hit the ground hard dazed for a moment. What had happened? Was she still alive? Of course she was, there was no way she had fallen that fast and lived. She opened her beautiful green eyes and looked around, she was back where she started more away from the cliff, but something blocked her veiw of it. The words in her head vanished, replaced by new ones. "What were you thinking!?" a snarl hissed at her, glaring eyes dug into her. Before her stood Jayflame, the cat she was trying to get away from. He had saved her? Why? What did he want now? She moved away swiftly from him ignoring his glare, and attempting not to glare herself, "What does it matter to you?" She growled towards Jayflame, her suffering coming more and more, she sighed, so close to freedom, away from the lies, all but a memory now. Her eyes glanced towards Solarblaze, he had come as well, it was then she noticed Riverfreeze, she swiftly moved her head away from all of them, her tail curling around her shaking form as she waited for Jayflames answer.

[Waterfrost]

The shaking tom firmly held his place in front of the beautiful she-cat, but his anger began to subside. Still, he fought to keep it, for he knew if it left completely, his sorrows would surely come back to take over once more.

Jayflame's voice was still filled with anger as he spoke, but there was an aura of calmness and reasoning about him. "No matter what quarrel we have with each other, we, as clanmates, still share a life-long bond that is stronger than anything that tumbles onto our path." A shiver ran down his spine at as he quoted his daughter's words, but he stayed strong. The small warrior kept his gaze on Emberfall, afraid she would disappear the heartbeat he looked away. Funny, she had already disappeared from his love life, and yet he was fighting to keep her from disappearing altogether.

Oh, Jayflame could have stared at the gorgeous she-cat his whole life-time, but he knew there was a brick wall between them. A brick wall that he had built. A brick wall that had only one way through.

"A loyal warrior protects his clanmates. Surely you know this?" The ginger and gray tom's eyes playfully teased the she-cat in front of him, his anger ebbing away to be replaced with playfulness and ease, but he knew it was a feeble attempt. All he wanted was there to be peace between them, but he knew even if that happened in their life-time, the aching pain and torture would still destroy him inside.

Why had I even saved her? Do I still love her, even after what I did? Even after I confessed my love for another? Besides, surely, with her gone, free of pain, the guilt and sorrow would disappear along with her? Wouldn't it? If only my life were that simple....

[~Ravenpaw~]

Emberfall~White Horse~//I just want the chance to finally be able to say "Once upon a time... I was loved...."//

Emberfall glared when he spoke his words, we, as Clanmates, that word bugged her greatly, what did he care for her anymore? Life-long bond? What did he care for bonds? Was she not the love of his life he so carelessly threw aside for another? Any bonds he ever had he broke easily; he cared not for anyone but his beloved Robinfur! Even though Emberfall was always by his side, his lover, beyond any reasonable doubt she was meant for him. The best of mates they were. Anything that stumbles in his way in his path was made by him self. Anything in her path was already there to begin with.

“You little lump of nothingness! Can’t you move faster!?” Her father snarled angrily. “S-Sorry father” Emberpaw cried and ran faster, her father growled and grabbed her tail and threw her back. Emberpaw screamed as she hit the ground again. “I said faster!” He hissed, his ginger fur bristling. Emberpaw winced and got back she ran again trying to go faster.

Embefall glanced up at him, she couldn’t help but notice that Jayflame was staring at her. The ginger and gray warrior watched her, she flashed him another glare, he had built a wall around her one of which was his entire fault. “A loyal warrior protects his Clanmates. Surely you know this?” He asked, his eyes giving her a playful look. Was he trying to taunt her?! Trying to make her suffer even more? What a fool… he didn’t know her anymore, she refused to be tempted by the peace he set before her. “A real warrior doesn’t betray those he loves” She countered muttering to him lowly, her voice was slightly shaken from the almost deathly encounter with the cliff. Emberfall frowned, she still felt betrayed by the calm look in his eyes, her own feelings a mix of anger and sorrow. She got up and moved away, her back facing him she sat down once again. She curled her ginger orange tail around her self protectively and refused to look back at him again. She shut her stunning green eyes, shielding them from the world around her. She longed to hear those words again, Fall, Fall to lose it all… if only it were so easy. Her freedom taken from her once more, Why? Why did Jayflame save her? Did he wish for her to suffer more?

The beautiful ginger she-cat renowned for her beauty and grace, her warmth and kindness as well. And yet here she sits, her tail coiled around her gentle angelic form and rested gently on her paws, her slender form still shaking. Though her unrivalled beauty made her stand out a lot, she denied it all for fear of her past.

“No one will ever love you, your nothing but worthless pile of orange fluff, your not good for anything” Her mother hissed, scowling upon the sight of her daughter. “Y-Yes Mother” Emberpaw cried. Her mother huffed and padded away from her. Emberpaw curled up and cried sadly. Nightpaw padded in and glanced towards her friend with her bright green eyes. “Are you okay?” She meowed worriedly, the young black and cream apprentice had been her best friend since they were kits. Greenpaw had recently died and the two of them had been spending a lot less time with each other. “I’m fine” Emberpaw said wiping away her tears swiftly. “Just tripped” She said quietly, she smiled sheepishly. Nightpaw giggled a bit, “Oh you poor thing” She said nuzzling her friend the two she-cat’s laughed.

Nightpaw, Nightsong now… Emberfall hadn’t talked with her for a long while. Perhaps she should now after this, after all this was over. She opened her eyes again and glanced towards the edge just past Jayflame, so close, so far now. Emberfall lowered her gaze and kept quiet. She had said nothing after her first words. Her words sounded rather harsh to him. She knew what she had said probably sounded hurtful, but what else could she say, the truth was hurtful.

[Fin]

^{I think they can find out now - before winter is over xD I've changed the weather in my post, if thats all-right with you Raven )}

White clouds rolled above slowly as Riverfreeze looked up to the sky for some answer to the troubles between the two cats, and when she looked down, the situation was no better. Jayflame and Emberfall stood at the edge of the cliff - and at the edge of their willpower, it seemed. The grey she-cat stood next to her brother, who's pelt was still on-end from when he had seen the she-cat at the edge of the cliff. She turned to Solarblaze, with a solemn look in her icy-blue eyes.

"We need to find out what is happening, this needs to end here." She said, earning a reluctant nod from her brother. Stepping forward, she gasped as something landed on her nose and melted. Snow? Looking up, she saw that the sky had filled with it, and that the little flakes were already settling around them. Though it was not thick snow, it would surely grow. Glancing back at her brother, he tried to encourage her, pointing his head toward them. She could only do it herself, as her brother wouldn't be able to handle the situation calmly.

Bounding over to them, Riverfreeze slid in the snow a mousetail's length. She caught the last words from Emberfall: "A real warrior doesn't betray those he loves." With deep confusion, Riverfreeze looked at Jayflame with furrowed brows, trying to force an explanation with simply a look.

With a whisk of her tail she looked over at the back of Emberfall, the cat that hated her so much for no reason, with only eagerness for her to be happy again. Without turning to look at Jayflame, she meowed lowly: "Somehow... I feel this involves me and my brother..." Riverfreeze lowered her head to look at the tom midsentence, "Please tell me what's going on."

Solarblaze stood a way back, ears pricked to hear what Riverfreeze was saying, but he could only decipher so much of the conversation. In vain, he sat down slowly, wrapping his orange tail around his body. An onlooker would have seen a mirror image of their posture, the tom and his mother. Snow settled on his flame-coloured pelt and before long he had a 'snow-hat', but he was too intent on the three cats ahead to care.

"What are they talking about..." He wondered to himself.