Find me if you can (Nem)

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After the encounter with the strange loner, Sear, she asked Shadow for another free day so she could be alone and think over about a lot of several issues.

Issues that she had to take care before she could go with Shadow. She did not know how to seek deeper in her feelings. It was all new to her, searching for something that she never knew before.

Once she tried hard, thinking about how to detect romantic connections, all of sudden, she smelt a scent.

A familiar scent. It was odd and old. Very familiar, but she could not remember.

Her head slowly turned...

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[ΩN e m e s i s]

These lands were new to Roxan, but he had knowledge of it most outsiders wouldn't. He knew what inhabited these lands, who called it home. Though he normally wouldn't want anything to do with them, being here, something strong pulled him. Something his mind could not resist... More than that, could no resist. It was dragging him by a chain, a heavy, rusted chain, demanding and urgent.

Paw after paw, he was pulled by this chain, as though it were the heavens themselves leading him to this unknown destination. That was when the sweet scent flooded him, hit Roxan like a monster, making his mind shake and try to break itself inside out. So familiar, so alluring. Roxan found his mind carrying itself, and he seemed to be blind for the moment only scenting. Only smelling, for he couldn't \get enough.

Now, he saw a females back. Yes, her backside. Slowly, as though frightened, she turned. And then it hit Roxan. This was why he was here. It wasn't just any female. It was her. He smiled, seductively, a smirk that should blow anyone away. Mango. His voice was a sweet symphony, and would hopefully pull her in someway, be physical, or her mind. He needed some kind of control already.

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"Foxdung."

That was it. A curse she uttered. Her eyes did not widen.

Long, endless moons leading other rogues toughed her up. She was not that young cat anymore. Pain may enter her again, fresh and raw in her veins, but she would not let him bespell her in a heartbeat.

Her eyes were hard and narrow with hatred, mixed with anger and sadness underneath, she ignored the first attempt of his to gain control over her. She knew toms that were like him.

A control freak, obsessive and an idiotic jerk, Mango would not fall for his dirty tricks. Not ever again. All strong, dark feelings poured out of her chocolate eyes that many toms found attractive. They were attractive, but colder and full with stings.

She whispered the name so long she never expected to utter again in her lifetime,

"Roxan Chase."

At least, she was very proud of herself for not being dazzled by his stunning looks. Green eyes may be hot, but she found them pathetic. Good.

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[ΩN e m e s i s]

Mango seemed to have some resistance to him, and Roxan saw that as good and bad. She had grown and learned. But she was also denying herself in denying him. She would see that one way or another. After the curse Mango uttered, Roxan could only smile. He stood tall and proud, his pelt shimmering and eyes trying to pull her in. He used to do it with ease, but she has changed much. Roxan took a step toward her, and lifted his brows.

She spoke his name, and after that; Nothing. Her brown eyes flooded with emotion, as Roxan's emerald shone with desire for her. He couldn't help himself now, the young female he once left for no damn reason, was now this. Beautiful, and soon... His. Roxan took graceful steps toward her, striding with ease, his tail high, as was his pride and confidence.

He rubbed against her front, his tail tracing her neck as he circled her. Mango, love, what's the matter? He whispered, blinking cooly. He kept going in circles around her, taking in every sight. Denying me is denying life, Mango. Sure, I left you. I can't say I regret it... But these feelings never changed, have they... Mango? He cooed her name, hoping to make the female shudder with delight. He was not going to be denied of anything now. She couldn't do it.

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She hated every ounce of him. Every ounce of him made her shiver with unease. He was making her uncomfortable. Deny? This tom was mousebrained. There was no way for her to let him have her.

Then she was being herself, being calm and reserved as she asked him softly, "Why did you leave me?"

Simple as that. She just wanted to know. Why.

Feeling his fur against hers, she flinched and sprang out of his way. Stepping backwards, she hissed softly, "Don't touch me. You can talk, but do not touch me. I am not the same Mango as before."

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[ΩN e m e s i s]

Her resistance only made him more interested, and she seemed blind to that. As she denied him again, and again, he was only drawn in. Her words had no real effect on Roxan, for he does as he pleases. Her question was simple, and simply answered. You were young. Ignorant, confused. And I needed better... He purred, as he looked her down and up, more and more. He couldn't satisfy his own eyes, for she has changed.

But, Mango... You've changed, as well as I. He whispered. She snapped, told him not to touch her. As if she could command Roxan Chase! What a mousebrained idea. Roxan only smirked, and stopped in front of her, stopping but two inches from her face with his own. Green eyes pierced into hazel, and with everything he had, he tried to make her see that he was right. She had no good reason for denying him. Her old life. Her love!

Mango... Love. Who in their right mind would deny this? He smirked, and then, put on a low, seductive purr. I left you. You loved me. I'm back! Do not tell me you feel nothing, Mango. I know you better.

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Oh, yes, Mango knew exactly how she felt about him. Not about Shadow and Sear. They were confusing to her, but she would figure it out later. Right now, she knew she had to deal with this idiot. Yes, the idiot, she once fell in love deeply. The one she regretted even to love. Trying to explore inside her mind, she tried to figure it out how she could ever loved him once.

It was true. She had changed.

There was a tiny puddle next to her. When she was younger and with Roxan, she was only a kitten, small and not mature yet. Her body was sticky and looked awkward, but now, she was different.

Tall and a well-formed body, she had long legs. Slim and slender with a perfect size zero like a supermodel, her pelt became softer and silky to touch and caress. It was as if she shifted from an ugly duckling to a walking, pretty swan. Dark chocolate eyes would glimmer with a polished attitude, but now, they only darkened with disgust. She was a full-fledged she-cat with a promising, healthy body to have kits, but she had no intention to have any kits. There were scars running on her spine and on her chest. There was a sharp claw mark on her ear. That proved she was a true rogue. But with a loner's heart.

Not only she had changed physically, but emotionally and mentally. Ever since Roxan abandoned her, she was shattered to the core. And had to rebuild again. Her feelings were a bit tough and bitter to break into. With experience and wisdom, she only regained her calm deamenor and told him this, "I know what I feel for you." She paused, then told him, "Nothing."

As she turned away, she told him, "If you really love me like you so said, then you would tell me why a long time ago. You could at least stayed with me and helped me. But you never did."

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[ΩN e m e s i s]

she was really denying Roxan Chase. What a great mistake, for what he wanted, he would have by any means necessary. He would not just be neglected. He could see the... Emotion in her confused, scared eyes. He would make her his, if it meant murder. He would not let a matured, beautiful cat as Mango just slip away from him. No, Roxan Chase needed the best. He deserved the best, in all these lands.

Stop the lies, Mango. Do not deny your heart. Do not deny your past! He almost hissed the words with desire, but quickly bit his tongue back. He would not give into this need, not until she herself gave into it. He was not that weak. Perhaps it wasn't weakness, though, that held her back. It was strong, he HAD to admit. No soul could deny her resistance.

I did not stay, true. Because I knew you could survive, and make yourself stronger. Mango, you deserve the best, and the best is before your eyes. He purred seductively, following her with graceful movements. Striding, he twitched his tail. Mango, I love you. Do not deny us.

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Mango would not flinch at any touch of any tom, but this tom made her flinch lightly with disgust. She moved away from him slightly, but she could still smell his scent. It was faint, very faint, but it was there. Tropical with an ocean smell, salty, but it really attracted her. It did and she hated every ounce of it.

It was true, after all. Cats whispered to her that no one could get over their first love. Even if a creature tried, it would fail. Every time. But Mango was certain that she denied him. StarClan, whatever the word was, she did not want him. She knew that.

Mango, I love you. Do not deny us.

She froze and spun around. A few inches away from Roxan Chase's muzzle, she replied with a cold stare she used to give on any enemy. "That's good for you. I don't love you. I don't even like you." She longed to use the word, hate, but it was a strong word to use.

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Roxan was becoming irritated, and he lifted his lip up a little with disgust. this was getting ridiculous. He was strong, yes, but now... What would he do? He could coax her, maybe. Maybe he could get her back, or maybe he would let her go. Maybe then... He could really give her hell!

That's good for you. I don't love you. I don't even like you. When Mango said the words, Roxan smirked. He watched her and he turned his back on her. He looked over his shoulder at her, and winked. Remember this? Me. Walking away, leaving you. Alone. He took a few steps, and then turned back to face her, a cruel smile on his face. You don't love me, then? Tell me you hate me and you won't see me for some time. He said quietly, his voice low. However, I can't promise I won't be watching you. I can't promise accidents won't happen... Roxan thought to himself.

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Mango shook her head at the sound of the tom's reply. She refused to follow his words. His words were pathetic. Just like the rest of him was pathetic. He was nothing to her. All of this, she kept a blank expression. A straight face on, she only replied, "If you truly love me like you so said, then leave me alone."

That was a good logical answer. However, life was complicated. Love was complicated.

Yes...

It sucked.

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[ΩN e m e s i s]

Mango didn't break. And that only made him want more of her, more from her. He could take her... He could make her his, fill her up with him. But... He wouldn't. No, he wouldn't become that kind of monster! He only watched her now, his eyes intriguing.

Mango, you can ask many, many things of me. He began, his mouth turning into a sly smirk. But you will never escape me. you will never find yourself alone! I will always be here! His voice was almost demonic now, and held much pride, demand and strength. What card would she play now?! What could she play, but the joker?! I will never leave you alone. He hissed one last time, waiting for some reply.

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She could not help telling him this, "I would like to see you to try." Still with the straight face on, she pointed out, "You left me." Pushing the urge to roll her eyes, she only looked away from him, taking a step backwards. She could feel his desire to get her heart, to get her to love him.

And she is doing everything in her power not let herself be his.

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Roxan was becoming irritated, yes. She needed to just give in already, or things would not end well. No, not at all. He let his ears fall back slightly, and he bared his teeth a little, showing domination. Then, despite what you may believe, you will see me try! More than that... He smiled now, cruelly, a smirk of nothing but deception. He stood tall, and looked down on her now, his chest full of pride. You will see me succeed. Roxan smiled now, and he had no doubt in his very words. For he himself knew they were truth.

Yes, he has left her before. But she was so young, so ignorant. But now, they were both stronger. Yes, very much so... Roxan only smiled in reply, now to see what her reply would be.

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This was completely pointless to continue in this ridiculous conversation. He was here to convince her to become his by cajoling her with a lot of compliments. Only she knew this as a fact about him....he was possessive and a mousedung. And she did not need that in her life. With no comments, she only turned and began taking soft steps in the opposite direction to where Roxan was.

He is insane, she thought. It would be idiotic of her not to fear this tom. This tom was capable of doing anything, even to hurt her or someone she loved. That scared her the most. What about Shadow? Sear? Roxan could cause harm to them without touching a single fur on their pelts. Mentally shuddering, she continued, ignoring the alarms inside her head.

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Roxan only smiled as Mango walked away, because the direction she was going, well, it was the wrong way. Not physically, but now, she will never be freed of him. Because, when she turned her back, his desire was burning one thousand times more than ever. He could manipulate her if he wished, and he very well did.

While she was only a blur on the horizon, a cruel smile consumed his face. I'll see you later, though I will remain unseen, you little monster. Roxan slowly padded in her direction, a very mischievous glare reflected from his sinful eyes.

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THREAD ENDED.

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That went pretty well! (: Lemme know when you wanna RP with him again!